Looking Back On All That We Lost
by duckie lover 151
Summary: Shikamaru remembers the old Sasuke after he learns that they've failed to save him.


**Yeah, I know Shikamaru probably wouldn't care too much, but I'm assuming, him being a genius and all, that he could put these thoughts together. (Even though technically... he's not telling the story)**

**Looking Back On What We Lost**

They weren't friends. It didn't take a genius to figure that out.

But it wasn't as if he'd never noticed Sasuke. Was it possible for anyone not to know about Sasuke Uchiha?

The academy's top student... every girl's crush... not exactly the teacher's pet, but every teacher loved him.

Maybe it was just his gut reaction, but Shikamaru had hated him. After all, what was so great about Sasuke anyway? Well, apart from the aforementioned. Oh well, it appeared that all Ino's lecture's about jealousy hadn't gotten through after all.

And yet, when Shikamaru learned they'd failed the mission, he found himself crying. It wasn't that he was frustrated or disappointed in Naruto. No, Leaf shinobi weren't trained to react like that.

It was just one of those times when you have a flood of memories and can do nothing to stop them.

Shikamaru was shocked to remember that he hadn't always hated Sasuke. The first time he'd met him the Uchiha had been sort of sweet.

Or... maybe that wasn't the best word for a guy to use. But at any rate, he'd been much kinder.

Sasuke had been naturally talented and hard-working. It was hard not to admire that. He knew Naruto did even if he wouldn't admit it.

He always knew all the answers to the teachers' questions, but not in a know-it-all sort of way. (And for the teacher's part he'd always given the other students a chance too.)

The only time Shikamaru had seen him act remotely cold back then was when he was being surrounded by one throng of girls or other. And he'd attributed that to Sasuke not knowing how to deal with them.

Yes. Back when they were seven or eight, Shikamaru had kind of liked Sasuke though they'd never spoke and couldn't be counted as friends.

Then the incident with Itachi happened. If it was impossible not to know who Sasuke was inside the school it was impossible not to know who Itachi was throughout the entire village.

He wasn't just a prodigy compared to the rest of his family. (And the Uchihas were known to be exceptional anyway.) Itachi was perhaps one of the most talented shinobi to ever come out of the Hidden Leaf Village.

The day Sasuke came back you would have expected it to be silent. Out of respect at least. But no. All day long there were whispers. Shikamaru heard them though he'd made sure not to contribute to them himself. And he made sure that Choji didn't say anything either, not that he would've anyway.

Sasuke left the classroom without permission and didn't return more than once that week.

After school he was always alone.

Shikamaru hadn't noticed until then that, not only were the two of them not friends, but Sasuke really didn't have any friends to speak of. No one who was around for him after the massacre anyway.

Sasuke became bitter. Now he was no longer above saying something harsh to the girls to get them to leave him alone. Not that this helped. For some reason this seemed to make the girls want him more.

In fact, he treated everyone this way. Sasuke didn't have to be alone. He had to have noticed that! But he purposefully isolated himself.

It was around this time that Shikamaru began to dislike Sasuke.

Sure he'd noticed that if Sasuke ever needed a friend it was now.

But they never spoke.

And they certainly weren't friends.

Then they graduated, Sasuke top of the class just as expected. Shikamaru wouldn't been the lowest scoring if Naruto hadn't pulled through in the end somehow. (Tests were such a drag...)

It occurred to him that if Naruto hadn't come through he wouldn't have been the third man on Kakashi's three man cell. (Thank god for Naruto; Kakashi's test sounded much harder than Asuma's.)

Overall though Shikamaru wasn't sure if this was such a good thing. The two of them not being on the same team. Imagine if they had been.

They may have spoken.

They may have been friends.

To be honest, Shikamaru hadn't felt any true sense of comradery with Sasuke Uchiha until they were all risking their lives to save him.

Now, when they'd failed, he barely heard Temari putting him down for crying after failing his first mission as a Chunin. She didn't realize the severity of the situation. All he could think of was the little eight-year-old Sasuke who'd smile shyly whenever the teacher praised him.

It hadn't sunk in until this moment that he hadn't needed to talk to Sasuke.

He'd just lost a friend.

**Review please!**

**I started this months ago and just now found it half finished on my computer. **

**Hooray for procrastination! :)**

**I don't own Naruto! **


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